Are You Wearing the Right Shoes? 3 Keys to Cultivating a Purposely M.A.D.E. Life, Part 2

Hey Ya’ll!

A few weeks ago, we talked about the importance of a heart of thanksgiving as the first key to cultivating a purposely made life.

This week, let’s look at how the second key, timing (more specifically the process of waiting), impacts developing the characteristics of peace and patience.

Back in the day, this would have been a normal conversation inside my head-

(Thinking to self and speaking to God:)

"Sigh, here we go (again)....the waiting game.

How long this time?

Didn’t I have this same issue a few months ago? Why is this situation on repeat?

How come??? Why now??? What am I missing???

This can't possibly be how my life is supposed to be at this stage/age??

......BECAUSE I'M WAITING!

The Waiting Reality Check

Like many of you, most of my life I've heard/used familiar expressions such as "I'll wait and see", I'm patiently waiting for...", or "I'll just wait for it", I'll wait it out" and my favorite "good things come to those who wait!”

When it came to the waiting game, I just KNEW that I was doing everything right yet I couldn't quite figure out why I was STILL waiting for things to manifest in many areas of my life. Why did I frequently find myself in the same situations? Shouldn't I have already passed these tests so that I could move on to the next level in my life?

Whether it was hoping for a promotion at work, entertaining new relationships, or trying to discover my purpose, I was quick to respond that I was patiently waiting for the "good thing to come to me". At some point, in the revolving cycle of waiting and seeing very little progress, I stopped and asked myself “I’m waiting...but what does that actually mean?

During this time that I’ve been waiting:

1. What has that looked like?

2. What have I accomplished?

3. How have I grown?

In that moment of self-reflection, I had to admit that I wasn't actually “doing” much of anything. I learned that my attitude and my heart towards the idea of waiting needed a major a reality adjustment! My whole perspective towards the idea of waiting was passive rather active. I believed that God had good things planned for my life but I was waiting for those good things to just somehow happen to me.

And life did…just happen around me and to me. I wasn't prepared. Most of my time was spent reacting to my circumstances instead of responding. I didn’t understand how the impact of the condition of my heart and mind significantly influenced how I waited.

Identifying 3 Mindsets of the Waiting Journey

Fast forward to today, I’m still waiting in different areas of my life…but with a new perspective. One thing I know for sure is that no matter what stage in life we find ourselves, we will always be granted with opportunities to wait. In reflecting on the first question, “What had the waiting process looked like for me back then v.s. now?”, I discovered the key is in the HOW we wait which determines the timing and the outcome of the process.

There are 3 different states of waiting that impact development and progress:

1.Paralyzed Waiting- the “I’m waiting around until….” state of waiting that causes you to be dependent upon external factors in order to make any moves. In this state, you may be unsure of your purpose and lack direction. Adulting is just too overwhelming. You don’t know what to do so you do nothing! With paralyzed waiting, there's a mindset of holding out for a specific person to come and walk with you or the next big event to happen to provide the motivation, confidence, and steps to move forward.

2. Postponed Waiting- the "I need to get myself together before I can….” state in which there is the gap between where you are now and where you see yourself going. This is the state most people find themselves stuck in. Postponed waiting is the place in the waiting journey where you recognize that change needs to happen yet your thoughts and feelings constantly waver back and forth between confidence and “the enoughs” (I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience, etc.).

There is a sincere desire and some effort to pursue your purpose and life passionately, however this state reveals the tension between doing and doubting is high. The only bridge that can successfully connect the now and the future is Faith. Postponed waiting is the battle between Faith and Fear. However, Faith and Fear can not coexist. Without being accompanied by action, faith alone will not provide the growth needed to close the gap. This is the crossroads of deciding between digging deep or staying stuck.

3. Positioned Waiting- the "With my whole heart, I’m expecting good things to happen in my life” state. This state is all about waiting with expectation and working to prepare for the destiny that you are sure awaits you. In this state, your arms are outstretched and your hands open wide ready to receive. Your heart is positioned to trust.

Your feet are grounded with commitment to be ready, willing, and available to move back and forth as the growth process requires. A process that is inevitable in order to promote to each new level along the journey of a purposely made life. Positioned waiting finds you maturing into the mindset of “God instead of changing my circumstances, change me.”

I realized that in the past that I sat back and waited for everything that I desired to somehow fall into my lap...but in my growth process I realize the reality check is:

WAITING = WORKING!

How Do You Position Yourself for Growth While Waiting?

For me, I needed to turn my waiting room into a workout room! Working out, aka building faith, by actively pursuing my purpose and becoming the woman my future needs me to become. Instead of waiting fearfully and denying my destiny based on false evidence appearing real (FEAR).

Positioned waiting requires being intentional about focusing on and leaning into the situations (whether challenging or rewarding emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically) that make you better. It's not being afraid to expose the things that may have made you bitter. For most of us, it requires a lot of prayer and practice to stay positioned and not to revert back completely to paralyzed or postponed waiting states. How?

1. Respond Appropriately-Your response positions you for eventual triumph or continuous trials. Time spent in the state of positioned waiting is all about maximizing the opportunity to grow into your best self. Yes, trials do come without warning and can be independent of the good works you complete. The key to being triumphant is how you respond. Decide to commit by faith and invest with hope in the future. Saying “Yes, God I know that you can move this mountain, but this time I want to conquer it. I am asking you to supply me with the strength and all the tools that I need to climb it successfully.” Saying yes to developing a mature perspective that evolves and shapes who you are at the core. Saying yes to the best that is yet to come!

2. Let Go (of trying to control life!)-Control measures our comfort zone, freedom measures our faith. When you try to control everything in your life, it confines you to the limits of what you know that you’re already capable of accomplishing. There is often a feeling of lack in different areas of your life and the desire to control becomes the medicine to deal with the symptom without identifying and changing your relationship with the root of the problem. Control is the opposite of patiently waiting. Being in a position of waiting, does not mean being passive or at a stand-still. It’s the ability to stand still by holding your ground and planting roots into the process in order to grow. Control is about grasping to hold on to a comfortable life. Being positioned and patient is about the freedom to give and invest your best to the life that you want.

3. Focus on the Process and not Solely on Progress-

Slow and Steady Process= Rooted Growth and Progress.

Going through a process is not necessarily fun, but it allows for the opportunity to fully commit to the growth needed to see progress. If you seek lasting growth, you must endure the circumstances that will build sustaining character. The biblical definition of patience often refers to the idea of long-suffering and the ability to not yield under pressure.

Patience is the tool that helps you commit to the entirety of the process while impatience omits steps in the process because of a desire to reap the rewards of progress. If we can enjoy the process, seek to understand our internal makeup, and deal with the issues that we try to hide or run away from then we will begin to see progress. Progress that lasts is a result of a slow and steady pace and yields growth and grace.

Patience and positioned waiting are signs that you trust the process and are ok with hearing and saying no, not ready and not yet. Of course no one is perfect! And there are many times when I find myself fluctuating between the different states of waiting along my purposely made life journey.

It’s easy to get distracted, so do a check-in with yourself and ask these 3 questions the next time you find yourself with an opportunity to wait:

1. Is there a a growth opportunity with a situation or someone that I can respond YES to today?

2. Is there something in my life that I trying to control? Why? What steps can I take today to let go?

3. If I take these steps, in what ways will I grow?

Then ray and invite God into the transformation process for courage and strength to take the next day. It’s serious heart work, but I challenge all of us to strive to stay positioned, grow with grace, and wait expectantly!

Cheers to the Positioned Waiting Life!

Big Love,

Tynisha

If you need daily encouragement to awaken your purpose or to lead your life with purpose, don't forget to grab my FREE guide "7 Positive Affirmations to Awaken Your Purpose" at https://bit.ly/7awakenyourpurpose.⁣⁣

Psalm 37:7

Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.

(AMP)